It All begins with The “Why”
Here is the live interview with The Shadow Of on Psych Word Radio w/ Rob G.
“2016 WE Will ROCK Together”
2015 was that year where everything started but also where everything ended.
Confused? Then Read this blog….
For all that time I was living as a lost drug addict and alcoholic, I never ever took
any kind of responsibility NOT AT ALL.
If and when I Did something wrong (I did that all the time) I always blamed it on someone else..
I was the one who people should feel sorry for.
I was the one who needed to do crime so I didn’t feel sick or abstinent.
I was the one who needed to be at the hospital, when everyone celebrated Christmas
with their families….And I could keep writing excuses for my bad behavior……
I never once thought of how my Mom,Dad,Sister and the rest of my family felt.
I never once thought of how sad they all were, and how much sorrow they all felt.
I know how I would feel, if someone that I loved more then anything, chose the drugs/alcohol instead of me….
When I started walking down that road, I somehow knew in my mind, that my life changed for good……..
Indeed…So many things I Missed…Family gatherings, a lot of vacation memories, my sisters wedding…
My Grandmoms funeral… (Or I was So lost on pills and weed etc… Just to keep my self in a kind of emotionel balance)
When I arrived to my parents house this christmas (2015) I went down in the kitchen
in the middle of the night to get some of Mommas good food….(I always Do that and have always Done that….)
Before i went up to my room where i’ve been so wasted and lost for so many years, I looked at this BIG Picture Frame from all kinds of good memoryes….
I suddenly realized that there was only 4/5 pictures of me… The newest picture of me was when I was around 15-16 years… I’m sitting there with my old acoustic guitar, where people I met had written a little message… That picture made me feel lost… WHY … Cause it was there it all starteded to be crazy or yes its always been kind of crazy, but I remember that picture because I ended up getting so wasted and high and we stole a little speed boat and went to a Bar to party all night long… But enough about that….
I cried some tears and went up to my room, on my table beside my bed, I saw my old High School Song Book…. I decided to open it up because, it was the beginning of the end……
At this school ( Musik & Teater Højskolen) I was so privileged to meet so many amazing and talented people. Musician, actors, sound engeniers yes people that wanted the same thing as me!
The only difference was they were willing to do everything…. Me… I was willing to drink and get a party started…
I manage to get a lot of fantastic friendships, Especially whit a girl….That girl should be the ONE who was going to be a BIG part of my recovery……
I moved to Copenhagen and after a really long and rough period, with me being totally insane …I received a message: “Either you go with me to a meeting and get your shit done or you are out of my life and you never going to contact me again”
We know how the story ended or how it began….
But Now here a few days befor The New year, I realized that so many things changed…
So many close friends I kind of lost contact with, but at the same time so many new friends showed up in my life and for that I’m truly gratfull…
The 2nd of January 2016, I reach 20 months clean and sober and i’m rocking more then I’ve ever done.
My music has been in rotation in Seattle Wave Radio, Radio Halsnæs 105.3 FM, Airplay in EGH RADIO,
Live Interview with AVA Live Radio and Airplay, airplay in kqcx.com and in a country radio also.
And Right now My Song “Momma” is added for rotation at http://banksradioaustralia.com/
The Law Of Jante taught me something I believed in for many years, BUT NOW I SEE its BULL****….
So I will Grind while they sleep.
I will Learn, while the party.
And Live Like The Dream….
When I was using i felt NOTHING!!!!! I was dead inside and outside!!!!!
But today right here right now… I feel love and grace…. Not only because I’ve manage to become clean and sober, but because I finally know what my purpose with my life is…. Its to tell my stories from walking at the gate of Hell and facing my inner demons…
Today I am The Captain Of My Own Ship, Now Its My Responsibility To Bring It Safe To Harbor, Only That Way I Can Pay It Forward…
My account of selfishness is long gone and I need to put my focus in what I can offer to people instead of thinking of what people can offer me…